In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
