is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
