Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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