Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My vagina just recognized that song.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Randomize
