sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
