Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
