We won't sleep together?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
