I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Randomize
