So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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