HIV tests are more positive than that guy
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
