come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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