Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
