You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
