these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
