Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
