How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
