There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
