Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
