new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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