I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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