would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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