everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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