You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
