Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
