im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
