well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
