so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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