Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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