God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
