You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
