I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I want you more than these girls want KFC
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
