I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
