He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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