jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
