Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
