Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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