the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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