ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
