Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
