I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
