he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
