My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
