I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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