well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
