How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
