I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
