honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Why are your pants in the freezer?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
