if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
