Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I need moral support for this bender
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
