I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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