You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I just want nice things and good sex
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
