I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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